Mad as a hatter. You are.
The very moment you are born you get a hat and honorary life membership at the mad hatters tea party.
Why is it we seem to be able to hang on indefinitely to destructive or unhealthy patterns of behaviour, yet try as we might we cannot hold onto the supposedly healthy constructive ones? What is that about?
Well, sadly we are designed that way. It’s hardwired into our DNA, its passed on from our ancestors, and its learned behaviour at both a Neurological level (The Brain) and Psychological level (The Mind).
And because we are creatures of habit, we always have our mad hatters hat on and reinforce the hardwiring at every opportunity.