Grief and loss

Grief doesn’t climb stairs to acceptance. It moves in a cycle — and it helps to know where you are in it.

Where you are in grief

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  The Cycle of Grief Explained

  Grief is more than sadness — it’s a cycle we move through again and again as we adapt to life’s losses. With the help of AI as my typist, this piece introduces the 12-Stage Cycle of Grief: a non-linear, emotionally rich model that recognises how grief pulls us backward before we move forward. From shock and betrayal to identity crisis, healing, and joy, this guide offers a deeper understanding of how we truly grieve — not just after death, but after any meaningful change. Rooted in both personal loss and professional counselling experience, this cycle maps how grief feels, why it lingers, and how we can navigate it with compassion and clarity.

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  The Waves of Grief: Where Am I in the Cycle?

  Grief doesn’t move in a straight line. It arrives in waves — pulling us under, then releasing us back to the surface, often without warning. One moment you feel steady, the next you’re overwhelmed by memory or loss. This piece explores how grief flows through us across time, showing up in hours, days, or even years after loss. It offers a compassionate guide to recognising the stage you’re in and understanding the rhythm of grief — so you can stop fighting the tide, and learn to move with it.

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  Am I Grieving?

  Grief isn’t always loud or obvious. It doesn’t only follow death. Sometimes, it hides in tiredness, restlessness, or the feeling that something is missing. This article explores the subtle signs of grief you might be overlooking — and how they map to a powerful 12-stage cycle. Whether you’ve lost a person, a dream, your health, or your sense of self, this guide helps you recognise, name, and navigate what you’re feeling.

Questions and self-help

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  15 Questions About Grief

  This Q&A guide was written with AI assistance, drawing on therapeutic insights and lived emotional truths. It explores 15 essential questions about grief and loss — ranging from how to recognise grief, to how it affects the body, mind, and relationships. The answers are grounded in the 12-Stage Cycle of Grief, offering language, perspective, and practical support for anyone navigating loss — whether personal or professional. Whether you’re grieving yourself, supporting someone who is, or teaching others about grief, this guide offers clarity, compassion, and a pathway to healing.

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  Grief Self-Help Guide

  Grief isn’t something we “get over”—it’s something we move through. This guide helps you recognise where you are in the grief cycle and how to move forward with intention, without rushing or skipping steps. Learn how to honour each stage, gain momentum, and walk the path toward healing — one conscious step at a time.

Grief without a death

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  Grief is not just about death

  Grief isn’t just about death — it’s about any meaningful loss. From broken relationships to fading dreams, from lost health to the life we never got to live, grief takes many forms. This article explores the quieter, less recognised faces of loss — and why they matter. Because if something shaped your identity, its absence can reshape you. And that, too, is grief.

Grief theories

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  Grief Theories vs the 12-Stage Cycle

  Many people know the Five Stages of Grief — but real grief doesn’t follow neat steps. This article compares major public grief models (Kübler-Ross, Worden, and the Dual Process Model) with the 12-Stage Cycle of Grief — a modern, cyclical approach rooted in therapy practice. Explore how this model brings deeper emotional accuracy, recognises identity loss, and reshapes how we talk about grief today.

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  Beyond the Five Stages: The 12-Stage Cycle

  For more than fifty years, the five-stage model has dominated our thinking about grief. But what if it’s missing the true complexity of how humans experience loss? Drawing on twenty years of coaching and psychotherapy, Paul Roebuck introduces the 12-Stage Cycle of Grief, a model designed to reflect the real, messy, cyclical nature of adaptation to loss. This is a challenge, and an invitation to students, academics, and research teams: help us rigorously test, validate, and expand this new approach, and be part of shaping the future of grief science.

For counsellors

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  Grief Support Pack for Counsellors

  Grief isn’t a straight line — and as therapists, we know our clients’ journeys are anything but simple. My 12-Stage Cycle of Grief is a practical, dynamic model designed for real therapy: mapping the messy, looping process of loss, with tools for before/during/after assessment and emotionally intelligent, collaborative reflection. Built on twenty years of coaching and psychotherapy and classic grief theory, it’s made for those working with bereavement, end-of-life, or any deep loss.

More on grief

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  Where Am I in My Grief?

  You feel lost, numb, angry, or strangely calm — sometimes all in the same day. Where are you in your grief, and is this normal?

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  Guest Blog: Death, Dying, Life and Living

  I met Dave several years ago through business. We were both living the high life. A few years ago, like most of us, Dave tripped off the pavement of life. I spoke to him today after hearing his dad had died. How surprised I was when we chatted, and he said he had written a blog. I read it and felt compelled to post it.