Paul Roebuck, psychotherapist near Stratford-upon-Avon

I’m a psychotherapist and coach near Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire. Twenty years in coaching and psychotherapy, the last ten in the therapist’s chair. Confidential, without judgement, and focused on what stops you doing things differently.

I work with grief and bereavement, trauma, anger, couples, psychosomatic symptoms and identity, and I coach executives.

Sessions are two hours, face to face in Oxhill, South Warwickshire. For clients further afield, one hour by phone or video.

Roebuck Counselling & Coaching on Google Maps →

Contact

TraumaFor events, recent or long past, that still hurt when pressed.AngerFor anger that runs the show, and the people who live with it.CouplesFinding what is and isn't working, together and apart.PsychosomaticWhen the body carries what the mind hasn't said.Genealogy & identityWhen your backstory from birth doesn't stack up.Life & executive coachingThirty years of business, and a forensic eye for people.Emotional FitnessStrength and conditioning for the mind and emotions, for teams and groups.Courses & talksShort courses on the patterns behind how we behave.What people sayFeedback from clients and course participants.

Grief

Grief and loss

The 12-Stage Cycle of Grief, guides for the hardest hours, and The Last Gap — fifteen letters, one free.

Grief and loss → The Last Gap → Remembrance photography →

Trauma

Trauma therapy

Trauma comes in many forms. If you’ve found this page, you don’t need me to tell you that.

Trauma always leaves an emotional scar, although in some cases it’s more of a bruise, and in other cases, it’s a physical, mental or emotional limitation.

It’s because an event, recent or historic, activated an acute emotional response, and pressing the bruise still hurts.

There are treatments for this, whether it’s aged or recent pain. Effective, compassionate, and proven methods that materially help you to come to terms with painfully difficult times and healthily move on to brighter, more settled ones.

I have extensive experience helping clients to adapt to the physical, mental, and emotional consequences of trauma and assure you of complete confidentiality, sensitivity, and absolutely no judgement.

So if you know there’s a wound that needs healing, get in touch.

Not all trauma is acute, but all trauma hurts.

Anger

Anger relief & release

Anyone can become angry; that’s easy. Being angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time and for the right reason is hard.

We’ve all been on the giving and receiving end of anger. It’s a normal and healthy emotion.

Until it isn’t.

The angry man. Accessing anger through art

There are times when anger is proportional and appropriate. Questioning a BMW driver’s parentage at a roundabout is anger, but it’s in proportion.

Kicking the radiator off the wall because someone drank the last can of Coke is anger out of all proportion.

I call that “aged” anger. Anger at something else, often from the past, left unexpressed until it has grown and grown.

If you or others are prone to outbursts of anger it’s because there’s a little (or a lot) inside of you that’s been hurt, and that pain feeds your anger.

It could be hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally, or just judged, unjustly. Whatever its source, it’s the fuel for anger.

Many people find releasing that old pain lighter and quicker than they feared — for them, and for those who live with it.

If you, or someone you know, could benefit from a conversation, get in touch.

If anyone at home is frightened of you, the Respect Phoneline offers free, confidential advice on 0808 802 4040.

Couples

For advice on how to conduct yourself in a relationship, Relate is a better place to start. I don’t judge what’s right or wrong in a marriage; that isn’t my role.

I can help a couple explore what’s working and not working in the relationship, and how small but significant changes in the behaviour of one or both parties can bring peace, strength, maturity, and longevity.

My approach is to meet the two together for the first session to pinpoint and illuminate what’s not working, then more often than not to meet each of you individually, for two or, at most, three sessions to work through what the first session uncovers, then after that a further session together to see how things have developed.

The biggest difficulty I see with couples is that they leave it too long to seek support, so if you are reading this for the first time then I’d recommend acting now, and not postponing things until they reach an irreversible conclusion.

Psychosomatic

Psychosomatic reactions

Psychosomatic means when the body starts doing things the mind doesn’t understand.

Grid of polished tumbled stones and crystals in many colours laid out on a wooden surface

And because it’s physical we first seek clinical and medical help.

The surgeon who developed a twitch, the pianist whose thumbs froze, the speaker who developed a stammer.

The clue is in the name: “psycho” means “of the mind”, so it’s best met with talking therapy.

I’ve had some powerful experiences pinpointing the cause and helping clients move on.

If you suspect your, or a loved one’s physical ability is being affected by their emotional state, get in touch.

Genealogy & identity

Genealogy gaps & identity misinformation

If you’re one of those people characterised in the popular TV show Long Lost Family, I do provide support.

I call it parental misinformation: your backstory from birth doesn’t stack up.

Two painted Russian dolls, one opened, in front of a row of psychology books

It’s also suitable for those adapting to the search for answers as much as it is for those who’ve found the answers.

Many people have gaps or quirks in their life story and it’s profoundly disturbing at an inexplicable level.

There may not be answers. But there are questions. All too often we can’t “ask” about our past because it’s a taboo subject with others or there’s no one to ask.

So come and ask your questions. Ask them confidentially, sensitively and compassionately.

Many people find it deeply settling.

Please get in touch.

Life & executive coaching

“Paul is an outstanding coach whose qualifications, experience and personality allow him to help people address the most challenging business and personal situations.”

— a coaching client

What is Paul's coaching style?

“An unusual combination of warmth and directness, which he uses to help people either uncover what is really going on or confront issues they may be unaware of, or have been avoiding.”

— Peter Hobbs, Managing Director, Vondel

How is Paul unique?

Paul Roebuck presenting his STEREO model: stimulus, thought, emotion, reaction, outcome

Paul brings thirty years of business experience in hundreds of companies around the world.

Add to that his forensic understanding of people and why they act the way they do, plus his articulate and amiable personality, and you’ll appreciate why Paul is such a trusted and sought-after coach.

A diverse and expansive career

Paul genuinely has worked in all aspects of business from the factory floor to the boardroom. He’s worked in operations and production management, sales, marketing, IT and has worked in over 30 locations around the world.

K3 Business Technologies reference

“We will all miss Paul’s enthusiasm, motivation and sharp analytical mind, which he has systematically applied to the whole company, first in a business improvement role, then as Operations Director and for the last four years as Sales & Marketing Director.”

— K3 Business Technologies

Emotional Fitness

Strength and Conditioning for the Mind and Emotions, offered to businesses, groups or teams

Why Emotional Fitness?

We get little or no emotional education and sometimes feel confused or disempowered by our own, or other people's emotions.

At Emotional Fitness not only do we learn the sources of our emotions, including fear, anger, stress, anxiety and motivation; but we also learn how to manage them more effectively by increasing our Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

What is Emotional Fitness?

At the gym, people exercise their bodies to improve strength, physical fitness and well-being.

At Emotional Fitness we exercise our brain and mind to improve and strengthen our mental and emotional capability through natural neuroplasticity.

The benefits of Emotional Fitness

Emotional Fitness gives you the knowledge to understand, and the power to better manage your own and other people's emotions.

The very essence of Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

How will it help me?

Collage of Paul Roebuck presenting energetically at an Emotional Fitness session

You’ll gain a deeper sense of who you are, and of other people.

This increased awareness stimulates an improvement in self-confidence, so you’ll feel a whole lot better about yourself and others too.

Emotionally healthy people feel happier, and so do those around them.

Course Details

Quote from Chief Dental Officer, Simplyhealth: Paul's speech was the most impactful and thought provoking

I offer talks and short courses which stimulate and engage teams and groups of all sizes and types and a number of powerful Emotional Fitness courses for the general public too. See the courses.

What participants say

Courses & talks

Training Courses

Repeating Patterns

The old line has it that madness is “repeating the same patterns and expecting a different result.”

On this Emotional Fitness course we will examine the neuroscience behind why we repeat patterns, even if they are unhealthy. We will also examine how to overcome the challenge of changes to our behaviour.

One of the most powerful Emotional Fitness courses. Read: Mad as a hatter →

I Believe Me

“If you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you’ll probably be right” is broadly what Henry Ford said.

This engaging and mind-opening course will examine that quote and bring to life just how powerful a message it is. We are naturally inclined to adopt beliefs, many of them keep us safe and healthy; however some of them are unhealthy and overwhelming.

This insightful course always creates a number of thought-provoking discussions and is one of the favourites and most beneficial to Emotional Fitness participants.

Self-awareness

This is the foundation course of Emotional Fitness. It provides students with the opportunity to learn the fun and power of Emotional Fitness. We examine how malleable our minds are, how quickly we make our choices and how easy it is to influence the decisions of others and be influenced ourselves.

This course provides not only a solid foundation but also answers some very basic questions about how and why we act and react the way we do.

Participants standing in a line during an Emotional Fitness Power and Rank group exercise — Power & Rank

Power & Rank

How we rank things (and especially how we rank ourselves) is a strong part of most cultures and society. Understanding how you access or give away your power is at the heart of this course. It takes you on a journey to discover purpose and provides you with a higher sense of self-mastery.

This is a powerful course that will provide you with a vital awakening and recognition that helps you create your own reality.

Perceptual Positions

If I am I, and you are you, then I am and you are.
But if I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I,
then I am not I and you are not you. — Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk

That’s quite a phrase to come to terms with, but if you absorb its sentiment you will recognise this as being a key description of how we act and react around others.

This course provides you with invaluable insights into how to adapt, or maintain our behaviour around others.

Attachment, Attention and Avoidance

Notice how attached we get to things as simple as our pet, as complex as our smartphone, and as unpredictable as the people we associate with. What is it within us that drives this desire to attach? Would it be any different if we didn’t? Can we change? Would we be able to?

This course will examine how and why we create relationships with others and why they do too.