Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is renowned for her seminal 1960s work on the grief curve, derived from her research on individuals confronting death and those affected by it. The model has since been a cornerstone of grief therapy.
However, it’s important to recognise that grief extends beyond the realm of death: it encompasses all forms of loss. This adaptation reinterprets grief as a cyclical, rather than linear, process — applicable not just to the bereaved but to anyone experiencing loss.
Loss can trigger the grieving process whenever we find ourselves missing something we once valued, believed in or hoped for. The cycle often begins with a jolt of shock, creating a sense of regression. As we move through its stages, including the crucial moment of realisation, we gradually gain forward momentum until we reach a new equilibrium.
Navigating this cycle is not a uniform experience. We might not meet every phase, or follow a set sequence. The journey through grief can involve leaps forward, steps back, or moving between stages.
The cycle applies across short and long timeframes. Some losses are fleeting, like missing a bus; others, like missing out on a sale, last days or weeks. More profound losses, such as a death or incapacity, can resonate for months or years.
Whatever the time scale or the nature of the loss, the cycle holds, offering a framework to understand and process the many-sided experience of grief.
My fuller model is the 12-Stage Cycle of Grief.